How I feel.

I have been feeling pretty tired, cranky, sore boobs, cramps.... I really wish pregnancy symptoms weren't so much like period symptoms.. grrr

I can go in for blood work at the end of next week but I may wait till the following week. We will see. :)

Results

Got my progesterone levels back from the doctor.

They were 11.4.

Doc said ideally she would have liked to have seen them at 15 but she had a patient get pregnant last month with 11....

So we shall see.

Doctor's Visit/ making announcements

Today I had my appt to get my blood drawn to check progesterone levels. I should have the results tomorrow.

Got into a discussion with the doc about when it is safe to announce once we get pregnant. She continued to tell me of times her friends had lost their pregnancies and people were commenting on how cute their baby bumps were or how they had the pregnancy glow. I think that would be so difficult! She said that what she tells her close family and friends is to wait until they are in their second trimester. I think I would have such a hard time holding it in that long!!! What I had originally wanted to do before talking to the doc, was to tell people right away...and if I have a miscarriage..I would be more careful the second time around other than family. But now that I heard what people say... I am up in the air...

I want to hear what everyone out there would do in the same situation.

Day 23

Funny how TTC has made me sooo super sensitive to what is going on with my body. I wish I could take a look inside of my body and know exactly what is going on in there!

Something I was thinking about....(About Miscarriage ... I hate that that is what it's called. I wish there was a better name for it.. the name.. It just makes it sound like it was the "carriers" fault when that isn't true. Arg.)

more sad news

found out another friend had a miscarraige.
:(

Day 20

Had third day of LH Surge.. Hmmmm

I guess it's normal from what I have read.

Day 19

Feeling sad tonight. Had a couple of prego ladies talking about their pregnancy.... and I was fine... but then they did a couple of things that indicated that they were sad for me. I sometimes don't want people to feel sad for me.. it makes it worse sometimes.

On the car ride home I just kept thinking if I don't O this month...or I don't get pregnant I will be sooo sad. I know that I shouldn't get my hopes up.. but I just can't help it. The end of October will mark one year that I stopped taking the pill. I don't know there is something about saying a year that is heart wrenching. I know that their are people that try for soooo much longer. I actually have a friend that has been for years. It makes me soo sad. lol.. and there I am feeling sad for someone when I don't want to be the one that people are sad for.

Please Lord... I don't want to wait any longer.

Urge to Surge!!

Found out what all those cramps were..
Woke up this morning and took the OPK...sure enough I had my LH Surge... Yay.. I am so excited to finally know that I actually ovulated. I am still wondering if both ovaries ovulated since I was having cramps on both sides... Twins?lol That would be CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know it's far fetched but who know's. Still don't know if we will get preggers... but wishful thinking! Now that I got the LH Surge... next date to be excited for is next Thursday for doctor to confirm the surge with blood work. And then next month for the pg test!!!!!!!
Hubby is trying really hard to not let me see that he is excited... but I thing he is just as excited. He doesn't want to get his hopes up. he's so great.

ummm if i have multiples... my best friend better move back! ;)

ovulation cramps?

Ok... question for all of you on clomid..
This week is supposed to be my most fertile week, starting yesterday.
But I have had cramps since Monday.... anyone know what this might be? It's been on both my left and right side... and in the center.

What a night!

Tears Tears...happy tears.

We had our young marrieds group tonight at our house. We were on the topic of what our spiritual gifts are. We decided to go around and share what our spiritual gifts are based on this test we took tonight. And we shared with one another whether or not we agreed with the results. SO my gifts according to this test were Helps, Hospitality, Serving, Mercy, and Exhortation... It came around to my turn and people agreed with my results and shared some examples of times where they have seen those gifts in me. We went on with the night and later on my dear friend said she had one more thing she had to share about me. She shared how we have known each other for a while and for a couple years have both dreamed of having children. She then read from our package the description of Mercy:

The spiritual ability to detect and help those who hurt and have needs. Empathizes with those who are needy or experiencing difficulty. Desires to remove hurts and exhibit sensitivity. Enjoys a supportive ministry of caring.

(A little background to the story... this friend of mine...she is now 4 months pregnant. Her and her hubby got preggo on their first try. )

After she read that description she said.. I might cry now... and she did. She continued to share how much it meant to her that no matter how badly I wanted a baby, and how long hubby and I have been trying, she never doubted my excitement for her. She said I was the second person she called when she found out she was pregnant because she knew how excited I would be for her.

That meant sooooo much to me to hear her say that. lol It's sooo crazy how I just blogged about this not even 4 days ago. And I think God was affirming what he was doing in my heart and that others are able to see him through the change that he has done in me.

Thank you Lord for the spirit of understanding and caring that you have given me through my trials. Amen

Long day

Had a very long date... ready to lounge with hubby.

Day 13

Today is day 13 on the Cl calendar. 11 days till my proesterone blood draw... and 20 days till a pregnancy blood test... ohhhh my how the time is going by soooo slow right now. lol I thought it was going to go by so quickly because it's a busy month... but it's not :( I'm sure once I'm out of this month I will look back and remember and think how fast it actually went. But when ur anxious it seems like your patience is tested as well as your emotions. Todays lesson, or this seasons lesson (one of many)... don't let your emotions control or take over what you do and who you are.

I got a lot of cleaning done tonight. I moved the couches.. cleaned the baseboards, cleaned the windows, moped, dusted, laundry... I think I am nesting a bit...lol.... I hope I stay this motivated to get that much done all the time. :) Wishful thinking.

Two other of my closest friends are trying to have babies right now. We are praying that it happens at the same time.. Wouldn't that be just so ideal? We were talking about it tonight and one of their husbands said that's all we talk about... it's true it is. But there is nothing wrong with praying with confidence :). Just need to be open to the idea that my plan may not be the Lords.

But I really hope it is ;).

Feeling pretty tired not... going to go have some tea and go night night. Love you all!

lol.. spoke too soon?

Found out someone else is prego :)

So excited... yet so anxious for my time :p. But i know that it will come in due time.

Being tested in this has been a rough time.... but I will praise the Lord all the more for the things he is doing in and thru me. I am experiencing things that I would not have been able to if things went smooth sailing. I wouldn't be as understanding of a person of those who struggle if I wasn't going thru this. I will praise the Lord all he more.

What the future holds

Tonight I went to a get together with a bunch of friends, and the topic of conversation... sooo many dear friends of mine are having babies. This is what I was thinking about tonight... I am so glad that I am able to be happy for them and not feel sorry for my situation.

I know there are times when people have had a rough time being around other people who are having babies when they are trying to conceive.... (don't get me wrong.. I've had my sad nights...quite a few.. ok a ton... I've prob. shed the pacific ocean in tears). And for some reason, ...actually I know the reason... lol...

Right when we started trying to have a little one, I knew other friends that were trying. And I started praying-
Lord-be at the center of my heart.
You know my inner most being-
you know my thoughts...even when I can't sort through them,
you know the motives of my heart.
You know what is best for me.

You have the best timing.

Lord and even though things might not go like I plan, help me to have a joyful heart towards others that may get pregnant before me- even if they are younger than me, even if they haven't tried as long.
No matter what the situation- these are your little miracles that you decide to bless us with

And the Lord has really helped me with that. lol..ten fold.... :)
It's crazy how many people are getting pregnant at the same time.
And I am sooooo thrilled and overjoyed for them. I can't wait to see what the future holds for them. They are having little miracles growing inside of them! Just like I always wanted... they are getting to experience that joy.

The love I have for my friends is made more complete when I am experiencing that joy with them.

Thank you Lord for this time of abundant blessings. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of being joyful, and for teaching me Love through your great sacrifice.

Day 3

On day 3 of Cd.

I am taking 50mg right now.

Feeling pretty lucky and thankful that I

am not having any side effects from the medication.

time not slip slip slippin' away

I know that looking back, time always goes so quickly, but it's always when you are anticipating something that time seems to slow down. We have a busy month ahead of us, so that should help get my mind off of the end of this month, and what it may or maynot hold. So I am off to write my emails.

Broken Hearts

I just found out in our small group that a friend of mine found out they were pregnant and soon miscarried. My heart just broke for them. Even though it wasn't a planned pregnancy they, as any expectant parent would, got so excited with the thought of welcoming that little one into this world. My pray, Lord help them with this hurt right now. May they feel the love and support of those around them, and may those around them be sensitive to their needs and feelings. May they feel your love and the power of your healing touch. Amen

First Bleed

I just had my first bleed after provera, so Im starting round #1 of Clomid on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!! WOohoo.. so excited!

SO loving the Comments

I am so thankful for all my new PCOS blog friends. It's so nice,.. even though I don't personally know you all... it's nice having people who are going through the same thing acknowledge your feelings. Thanks Meghan... the Comments really are such an encouragement. Praying for you and your hubby, and am thankful for our cyber friendship :).