Got into a discussion with the doc about when it is safe to announce once we get pregnant. She continued to tell me of times her friends had lost their pregnancies and people were commenting on how cute their baby bumps were or how they had the pregnancy glow. I think that would be so difficult! She said that what she tells her close family and friends is to wait until they are in their second trimester. I think I would have such a hard time holding it in that long!!! What I had originally wanted to do before talking to the doc, was to tell people right away...and if I have a miscarriage..I would be more careful the second time around other than family. But now that I heard what people say... I am up in the air...
I want to hear what everyone out there would do in the same situation.
We are very close with both sides of our families, and are in near-daily contact with them. Keeping it hushed until the 2nd trimester is totally not reasonable for us.
ReplyDeleteWhat we did when we got the BFP is just tell ONLY those we would want for emotional support in case of a miscarriage. It worked beautifully for that particular situation, but we probably won't do it again. If we were to get another BFP, I think we would change two things:
1) wait until AFTER the blood confirmation, at least a week, better yet, two or three before we enlighten anyone in the family; it could have saved us a load of drama and pain if we would have just zipped our lips until the pregnancy was confirmed through a blood draw
2) I would not ask our family to keep it hushed. IMO, it seemed very unfair that we would tell them news so delectable, so joyful, and wonderful, news that our family has waited for YEARS to hear, but then tell them they can't breathe a word. People want to share their joy, and I know it was a major point of frustration for my fam, and therefore for us, that they couldn't tell. Once we can wait no longer and HAVE to tell someone in our family, I think we will make it public. It's also a step of faith, of optimism, and I think faith and optimism are good things to embrace, especially for a pregnant cyster. Now, if I had recurrent miscarriages, I would think quite differently about this strategy. Right now, I have no reason to believe further pgs would be compromised, so I am comfortable taking that risk.
It is soo hard to decide, I know. GL!